In-laws are crucial members of the family with whom every married man or woman must maintain a healthy relationship. Often this area is left untouched until the last minute causing extremely awkward and sticky situations later on!Talk with your spouse about their family. You will want to be informed of traditions and expectations that are important to your new family. It is also never too early to discuss plans for the upcoming holidays. Creating a visitation plan (especially if your families live far apart) will reduce the chances of hurt feelings or unmet expectations in the height of holiday celebrations.
Be open minded. With a new family, there will be new traditions. Being flexible to change will make time spent with your new family more enjoyable for everyone.
Offer to help. If everyone is running around setting up for a birthday party, find a way to help. Participating in things that are important to your in-laws will cause them to appreciate you.
Relax and be yourself. No one expects you to suddenly morph into different person. If the family loves karaoke whilst you suffer from stage fright, clap along but do not force yourself on stage if it will make you miserable and resent going.
Avoid gossiping or complaining about your new family (especially to those in the family) it will only cause you to have a bad attitude.
Consult your spouse or a neutral source to verify you are not overreacting. You may be misinterpreting your in-laws' comments or actions. When your in-laws fail to invite you to camping, they may know that you dislike the outdoors and be intentionally excluding you. A fresh opinion may prevent hurt feelings and disperse negative vibes.
Discuss your feelings with the in-law who is being rude in private. Tell her how her actions and comments affect you. Explain how her put-downs make you feel and ask her to refrain from doing so. Give her a chance to respond. Regardless to whether she responds positively or negatively, you will feel better knowing you stood up for yourself and tried to make peace with your spouse's family.
Make boundaries and mind your own business. Understand when you are in your in-law's home, you are a guest. It is not up to you instruct your in-law on how to cook, clean, or discipline children. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into arguments between your relatives and in-laws.
Embrace a positive attitude. Smile and be pleasant to your rude in-laws. If your in-laws see a kind and hopeful person they may become friendlier. A healthy sense of humour may deflect some rude comments and help you avoid lashing out in anger.
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